My Personal Hell: A Jack Edwards Telecast

For those of you without DirecTV, I am used to getting both the home and away feeds of each game (provided there is a telecast from each city).  Tonight, there was no Canadian feed on Centre Ice Package.  I can’t explain it.  I don’t like it.  I was feeling a bit pissy about it.  And, when I’m in a pissy mood, the Senators tend to suck.  It’s just something I’ve noticed.  Nothing is more predictive of a Senators loss than my crappy mood. 

The reason for my fowl mood (you ask)?  I am again subjected to the inanity of a Jack Edwards call on the play by play.  To be fair, there are announcers who don’t know the game as well as Edwards does (hello Atlanta)  And there are guys who call a game much worse than Jack Edwards (ever watch a Wild telecast?)  But, there is no play-by-play announcer who thinks he knows the other team (and feels the need to add colour commentary) and are just continually wrong, more than Jack Edwards.  Here’s a perfect example from tonight.  “Chris Kelly is a highly skilled player.”

If Chris Kelly was a highly skilled player, the Senators wouldn’t have any problems putting together a second scoring line.  If Chris Kelly was a highly skilled player, the puck wouldn’t roll off his stick 60% of the time he’s staring at a gaping net.  If Chris Kelly was a highly skilled player, he would be making $6 million/year and not the $2 million he signed for in the offseason.  Chris Kelly is a hard working, smart player, but his skills?….Marty Havlat he ain’t. 

Just what I feared:  A minute five seconds in and it’s 1-0 Boston…..I suspect Allah will not be answering my prayers tonight.  My fear coming into this game (see my previous post) was that the Sens would come out flat on the 2nd night of a back-to-back.  This is not a good sign.  However, Foglino gets a bad goal against Fernandez to tie it up, so my hopes are rising.

I have to admit it….it hurts me a bit to hear the Big Zed getting booed.  I know he wasn’t exactly a stand-up guy in negotiations with the Senators, but I still think there was a solution that would have kept him in a Senators uniform.  The $6.5 million they gave to Redden would have been better utilized on Big Zed even if it had to be sweetened another half mil. 

OK, here we go!:  The effort and concentration on the power play is crap.  Turnovers in our own zone are crap.  Alfie looks tired.  A couple of terrible turnovers by the captain in the defensive zone and it’s not often you can find even one of those in a night let alone three in two nights.  The penalty killers look slow.  Goal Kessel!  This is just going to be a pile of poo.

Didn’t expect to see this:  Alex Picard and Brian Lee leading a rush in the second period.  I mean, both defensemen are in deep with a chance.  I’m trying to decide if I’m excited or terrified.  I definitely have an erection but syphillis is a very real concern. 

This has really been a stinker by the boys for two periods.  The Senators are down 3-2.  Neil, Kelly, Vermette have been the best line all night.  As I write this, they come back from commercial, the Kelly line goes out on the ice (where you would typically see the Spezza line) after having just finished a shift before commercial.  I guess Hartsburgh sees what I’ve been seeing.  This is really a crap fest.  The Senators have not only been unfocused and sloppy physically, it’s clear that they don’t have their heads in this one.  It’s not often that I find any reason to criticise the A-Train, but twice tonight, Anton Volchenkov has been guilty of looking for the BIG HIT in his own end (and failing) instead of making the smart defensive play.   It’s just a symptom of the state of the whole team in this one.  It’s been a game filled with turnovers and a lack of concentration and now a 4th goal for Boston and Heater taking a stupid penalty late which will kill any thought of the comeback I knew wasn’t coming anyway….get your money’s worth next time Dany….cut the weak hooking crap and give out a face wash instead!!!!

And now for something completely different:  I’ve heard it said many times by the Jason Smith detractors that he lacks speed and opposing forwards will simply walk around him for easy chances.  Here’s what I’ll say about Jason Smith….he doesn’t have ‘make up speed’; that is, he won’t take a chance on the offensive end and be able to make up for it by racing a forward back to his own end.  But, the operative part of that sentence is “he won’t take a chance on the offensive end”.   He’s not going to light up the offensive end, but to date, I have not seen Jason Smith look bad on the defensive end; NOT EVEN ONCE.



2 Responses to “My Personal Hell: A Jack Edwards Telecast”

  1. Senators Lost Cojones Says:

    And, when I’m in a pissy mood, the Senators tend to suck.

    Note to self: Ship six month supply of Prozac to the wilds of Minnesota first thing Monday morning.

  2. Keith in Jersey Says:

    Jack Edwards does indeed BLOW.

    Jason Smith will hardly ever hurt you. He is missed right now on the Flyers back line, but we knew we couldn’t afford him, thanked him and gave him a heartfelt pat on the back when he left. Enjoy the time you have with him.

    And try to avoid pissy moods on gameday. The man-cave is a place for jubilation, not pissy. Piss-drunk on occassion, but not pissy.

    Nice to see frequent updates in this space. I’ll check back more often.

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